she came to my back door
winters ago
with two kittens
in tow
i took them in
the vet said all three
had feline leukemia
the kittens passed
soon after
and mama took to
grooming me instead
licking my thinning hair
until strands of it
hung from her tongue
I would pet mama
and tell her she will
one day see her
babies again
and when I cried out
“Mama!” when the
nightmares came
as they’d come since
i was a child, mama cat
was the only one to run
to my side, lick my face,
and remind me that i
wasn’t motherless
after all
this went on
for several years
Until this morning
as i was leaving for
work, having already
counted my other cats
i then found mama
open eyed and on
her side partially covered
in her own urine
though she’d seemed fine
just yesterday
the vet said it might
have been a heart attack
I whispered goodbye
and told her
we will be together
again. And the pain now
Can’t be explained.
For her, and myself,
I prayed the
Rainbow Bridge prayer
and to St. Francis and
Jesus too, then I
searched for a Buddhist
prayer, and though
it spoke of animals
as being our mothers
in past lives,
it would have
me pray for her to be
reborn human, and I
love Mama too much
for that. She was and
still is my Mama
in this life.
–fb