This might just be
The closest thing
To a feel-good
Xmas missive
As you’ll ever get
From a guy with
A pen-name like
Mine: I consider
My Christmas as
Having begun
After work on the
Friday before the
Holiday itself. On
The way home to
My roof-leaking
“Mobile Home,” I
Pulled into the
“Executive’s Den,”
Where hardly an
Executive ever
Roams, but among
The dancers there
Who didn’t do much
To raise my Christmas
Cheer, I spied a doll-faced
Brunette with rockabilly
Tattoos covering only
Part of her Santa-sized
Ass. She sat curiously
Alone at the bar, so after
Having been propositioned
By a few of the others, I
Went up to the brunette
And asked for a dance.
And she was good
Enough to raise the
Lazarus moldering
In my shorts. She also
Claimed to have saved
A kitten in traffic, which
Raised her stock in my
Book too. Well, as I paid
Out the going rate there,
10 bucks a dance
(I’d been there only a week
Before) plus a cheery tip,
She held up the bills and
Said, “But this is only 65.00.
It’s 20 a dance.” I smiled and
Inquired when they’d changed
The price. She said only a little
While ago and added that all
All the girls there charge 20.
Well, I scrounged up the
Difference. I’d heard this
Song before. But she had
Delivered the dances, and
I hadn’t asked about her
Price first. Of course, after-
Wards I learned that no one
Else there at the time charged
20.00, and the house price
Hadn’t changed at all. I’m
Not mad though. This
Morn, as I approached
One of my makeshift
Homeless cat shelters
In the hood,
Several kittens ran out.
I emptied the bag of
Cat food, then I stuffed
Some fresh straw in the
Shelter. And I’d
Managed to do it all without
Getting caught. I know that
Karma and heaven are myths,
But seeing those kitties snug
In the shelter made me feel
Good. “The Kingdom of
Heaven is within,” as Mr.
Christmas said, and his
“Father’s house has many
Mansions,” too, and one of
Those mansions has a
Leaky-roof, another has
A makeshift shelter full
Of homeless cats, while
Another has a lovely,
Lying strip-club dancer
Whose rockabilly
Rear-end
Raises the dead. The
Kingdom of Heaven
Is within.
— FB
Buy my book on Amazon: Mail-Order Annie by Fyodor Bukowski.
Musings, Mutterings, and Condemnations 